Lord Lord Lord, sigh. My heart just bleeds for my baby and all that he has to deal with and he really has no idea….its his normal…shame on me for what I complain about. Christian is a miracle and every day that I look at him I have to thank God for life and thank God for being God. Christian has so much going on that at times it is overwhelming. There are so many things that we have to do and look for. Christian is a full time job, no I am not complaining, I thank God Almighty for my baby and the lessons that He is choosing to teach me through Christian. Every day is a miracle, a miracle that he is alive. This little boy will look at me and cooo and smile with his bright and very alert eyes, It hurts to look in his eyes and know the challenges that he has before him that he has no idea of, some that his Daddy and I will be able to shield him from…but some that we won’t be able to. Christian is due to have his second surgery sometime this summer…I am dreading it already, not so much for me but for him. He knows now what it is to be home with his Mommy and Daddy. He loves just to sit and watch his older brothers play and wrestle…he loves to be talked to, I hate to think that there will be times in the hospital that he will be in a room by himself, he won’t have the comforts of home. I hate hate hate to picture him there by himself. God I need your help, we need your help. The average time that a child will be in the hospital for the second surgery is about 21 days, however it’s been known to range from 7 days which of course is what I want to 45 days. Lord I need you to do it Jesus!!
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean NOT unto thine own understanding in ALL they ways acknowledge Him and HE shall direct thy paths (proverbs 3:4-5)
Being a Mommy to three ohhhweee… At times, many times I feel guilty for not being the best mommy that I can be for all of my children. Wayne Jr told me the other day, Mommy you never play with me anymore, you only play with Baby Christian and Michael…oh as a Momma, that made my heart hurt…Lord Jesus, please help me with balance. I know that I can’t be everything to everyone all the time, but sigh…sometimes I don’t know who to be what to and when. I need balance Lord, I need direction and guidance. Day by day, One day at a time sweet Jesus, that is all I am asking of you, show me the way, help me to say, one day at a time.